Real Christmas Music
Unlike any other year in my life, I have decided to start listening to Christmas music in earnest this year as early as practicable. To this end, I am building a "Real Christmas Music" playlist that I am subjecting to rigorous criteria.
Working draft provisos:
- Anything not featured in the United Methodist hymnal is to be treated with healthy suspicion.
- Anything traditional converted to upbeat or syncopated rhythm to sound "modern" is immediately DQ'ed.
- Anything with spoken word is immediately DQ'ed.
- Appended extra verses or choruses are acceptable if and only if the content matches the original material in theme and delivery.
- Audience applause in the recording is discouraged but permissible for an exceptional performance.
- Children's choirs assembled for any primary reason other than cuteness are offputting and should be discouraged.
- We're celebrating Jesus, not Santa. Stay in your lane, Father Christmas.
- We're celebrating Jesus, not cold weather, twinkly lights, seasonal commerce, or the Winter Solstice. Leave those to Dillard's.
- Organ is welcome if not overmixed or overly "honk-y."
- Wind howling sound effects are a near-immediate DQ. Sleigh bells are not to be over-utilized.
- Upbeat songs converted to dirges to sound more "serious" are generally unacceptable.
Merry Early Christmas, under permissable parameters!