Brandon's Blog

11/5/2023 #

You're So SHEIN

I want to change the names here to protect the guilty, so let's say this is the ballad of Bethilda Mack.

Bethilda has an email address that must be really close to my email address. She's an older lady, and maybe she fat-fingers things every now and then. Or perhaps forgets that she uses the purple website rather than the blue one. I don't know.

In any case, Bethilda signs up for things from time to time. She registered with an Oklahoma healthcare organization using my email. I get some emails every now and then when it's time for her to re-enroll.

This hasn't been a big deal in the past. I think one time I got something like a scholarship application reference request. For those bespoke items I will occasionally write back and inform them that Bethilda may occasionally live rent-free in my thoughts, but she doesn't monitor my email account. Our two ships pass in the night, and life goes on.

Until Bethilda started shopping for maxi dresses.

I got an email from SHEIN, which is a garbage clothes vendor. "Welcome, Bethilda Finkel!" I'm thinking, Bethilda seems familiar, but Finkel is new. Also, is my doppelregistrar Betty or Bethilda or Bonnie? I couldn't remember.

For my sins, I've bought a few disappointing things from SHEIN in the past, but with my burner email account. No relationship to the flagship email account that Bethilda occasionally intrudes upon. So, this is really random for it to come to the b.mack address.

I go into phish-alert mode and look at the domains on the header of the email. It's from sheinnotice.com. Sus, as the kids say.

So I pull up a DNS WHOIS on shein.com and do an A-B comparison with sheinnotice.com. They're both registered in China, no surprise there, but the registration info is wildly different. Different registrars, etc. China being the only common thread. I'm quite convinced that this is just a phishing deal and I report the email accordingly.

Then I get an email with the "thanks for setting up an account, here's your temporary password." And there's the b.mack email address as the account name with a random character password. Poor security practices, but also not your typical "Hi, I'm from USPS and your tax paperwork is late. Please send a Saltgrass Steakhouse gift card or President Obama will sue you" type of phishing. It's from sheinnotice.com, so I report phishing again.

Then the order confirmations pour in. Ms. Finkel managed to spend several hundred dollars at SHEIN, which is a feat akin to maxxing out the nameplate weight limit on the elevator on the way down from a cotton candy shop. The emails are strangely consistent for phishing, but they're also super janky. "Items in order: 0" followed by a list of nine maxi dresses, that type of thing. I think, we're in the burgeoning age of AI. The phishers have hooked up to ChatGPT. All good here.

Then I look down at the bottom of one of the multiple emails and see the ship-to address. It's to Ms. Finkel, on so-and-so-number Finkel Lane in a small town in Oklahoma. I chuckle. Checkmate, chatbot. Finkel Lane? What are the odds? I know a couple of people who live on a street named after their family, but c'mon. No way.

So I pull up the address in Google Maps. Double checkmate, HAL-9000. It's a valid address, but it's dead in the middle of a Native American cemetary complex. No street view, but no houses around either. Middle of nowhere, surrounded by tombs, in rural Oklahoma. Case closed, shut it down.

I check my credit cards to make sure everything is hunky-dory. No SHEIN charges. Good there.

Then I get the shipment-confirmed emails, which look even jankier but are consistent with the others. And there's the USPS tracking number. I grab the number and Google it, expecting to get nothing. I instead get a valid number lookup, with the shipment originating from SHEIN's Illinois DC. I can't see the destination address in the general lookup, but this is a real shipment with consistent timing and a credible fact pattern.

While I admittedly may have been holding onto grasped straws, I write this off as further sophistication in phishing and report the emails as suspicious. I check my credit cards again.

Then I get a DHL shipping notice for the second part of the order. I'm thinking, we're not in the Sudetenland here. Who's using DHL in America in the year of our Lord 2023? Turns out, SHEIN is using DHL, in this economy. It's another valid number.

I release my grasped straws in defeat. Bethilda may not be using my credit cards, but she's using my email... somehow managing to place a historically-significantly-large SHEIN order without confirming the email address, since she presumably can't access it. I pull up shein.com and log in using the b.mack address, go through the forgot-password flow, and I'm in. This is shein.com, not sheinnotice or shien.com or sheen.us or whatever, and there's the large bunch of maxi dresses from the confirmation emails.

I pull up the Goog and goog "Bethilda Mack Finkel," which I hadn't tried before. There's @bethildamack on Instagram, in her engagement photos with Mr. Finkel from 2021. She apparently found love in her sunset years, then married and shacked up with her (definitively white) beau surrounded by the angry, unresting spirits of multiple tribes of Native Americans. Then she ordered a shitload of maxi dresses with my frigging email address.

SHEIN showed my account as being (thank goodness) unconfirmed, and I put in a deletion request for the ill-fated account. Bethilda should be ripping poorly-sewn seams in her new dresses by the end of this week.

8/5/2023 #

Surplus

People tend to develop the ability to critique and to reject on a faster timeline than their growth in ability to articulate preferences and put sincere words to the elements of art that truly reach them emotionally. The junior high kid can often define himself more articulately in terms of negatives: "I don't like old-fashioned music," or "romantic comedies are boring and sappy."

It can be painful to be on the receiving end of this phase of development when one has left it behind oneself, but I think it's fundamentally a very healthy and necessary tendency: the more "enlightened" positive view on preferences breeds attachment and sentimentiality that can slow down discovery of new things. A young person walks down the (now metaphorical) CD or DVD aisle and sees an endless, constantly-replenishing stream of newness. Even the old things feel unlimited and unbounded -- who could get through all of that stuff? And, with that kind of variety, why settle on yesterday's preferences?

Turns out, on the timescale of a fuller life, one can definitely make a dent in that "endless" stream, and the feeling of unbounded surplus evolves into a realization that enjoyment of art and beauty in this world are bounded in practicality. We can find ourselves hitting F5 waiting for the next thing to arrive, or wearing out our favorites, and the search costs of diving into a new genre can feel exhausting and relatively fruitless.

While surplus can help maintain our ability to be choosy in our curation, scarcity helps develop a deep sense of gratitude for the enjoyment of impactful creations. Viewing live performances of art has been a particularly meaningful example of this for me recently. While I used to be of the opinion that "live" things involve too much acceptance of flaws, versus enjoyment of the "gold version" that is put into print and released en masse. Then I began to appreciate that the "flaws" bring depth, variety, and authenticity that can and should be treasured, at least from time to time.

The latest realization -- and this is a hard one for an introvert -- is that a live performance is not merely a chance for a few hundred to several thousands of people to experience a flawed (let's say "nuanced") work individually; the event itself is more akin to a church service. "Whenever two or more are gathered" is more about the community than the individuals taken separately.

In a world that is full of conflict and division, in which people so struggle to find almost any commonality, there is a striking reverence and blessing in gathering to enjoy something together, no matter what that thing is. I want to fill my life with moments of unity in enjoyment.

7/15/2023 #

How?

I can't comprehend how it took me over 12 years to hear this voice.

Hours of sleep have been exchanged for so much excellent music.

7/15/2023 #

Old Look, New Blog

As much as Ghost appealed to me as a WordPress-like, batteries-included blogging option, it had the unfortunate shortcoming of never being appealing for me to use. I hated logging into it, the Docker image was always somehow hobbled (something with paths... whatever), and it felt overall too heavy.

I decided to go back to basics, bring in a little '90s to the design, and run a setup that's appealing enough to me to prompt me to write from time to time. The new system is based on eleventy, which is a nice little static site generator with very patchy documentation but a wonderful operating philosophy. SSGs are the kind of thing that you almost should just write yourself so you can get the five features you care about and not have to dodge the other 95 you don't (here's looking at you, Hugo). So, with a few hours of fighting the system, then fighting the configuration system, then struggling with Python Unicode encoding of my twenty-ish (!) years of blog history, we're up and running to some extent.

So many blogs have a post like this on top where it says, "I'm looking forward to writing more," and I'm hoping this is a means of pushing that post down the history a bit with new content.

7/15/2023 #

Addendum, See Previous

I totally botched the YAML on the previous post's front matter on my first rebuild of the site. Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack...

7/15/2023 #

Intra-Version

I tend to test something like 95/5 introvert/extrovert, and there's no question I am most in my element when I'm in my own head.

I am increasingly mindful of how self-consciousness, in all its sundry forms, can be a major blocker to making the context-switch when it's needed or wanted. The excellent self-question of "Do you have compelling evidence as to how doing X or making Y mistake has led to the brutal and decisive destruction of your life, moral rectitude, and/or capacity to experience joy?" is an interesting mantra to help grind down the imagined stakes of all kinds of interactions and everyday risk-taking.

I have a mild obsession with quarterbacks' mental composure in games. They throw an INT, then you just have to watch each one of them to understand how they've come to cope with it. You get the Eli Manning "that was definitely not my fault," but you also get sullenness, anger, dead-eyed passivity, etc. No matter the strategy it's a master class in something I don't think I could ever do.

It stuns me to see somebody fire up the ol' methane-fueled lamp in the wild, and so often to get away with it, while I'm over here second-guessing the thing I did right last month. Last year, even. Just the skill - and it is a skill - of kind of not caring at some point can feel pathological at even its lowest concentration, but it's more virtue than vice in small portions. It's something I'm working on. We're wells of compassion, except to ourselves. I mean, why have some mantra like "breathe and be grateful" when you can instead employ a salty "screw them and the horse they rode in on!"

In moments of progress in this area it does become clear exactly how fascinating people are, when you really let loose and just go with whatever situation you're placed in together. I was at a party several years ago where the hosts were so in tune with this truth that they appeared to me to consume personal uniqueness as it was offered up to them in conversation. With some additional hamming-up and facial prosthetics it could have been a Star Trek plot where the aliens ate emotions or memories or something like that. It was admirable, and endearing, and honestly a little weird. But I felt no shortage of welcome at that party, that's for sure.

Looking for a different Vonnegut quote to reinforce a different point, I coincidentally found: "Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" So it goes.

7/15/2023 #

I Can't Do That, Dave

Harkening back to Slashdot proto-memes, I for one welcome the AI revolution. I get a kick out of ChatGPT (and especially DALL-E) and have actually used it for a couple of minor practical purposes. I write pretty well when I have a high-level pathway to follow, but I get some blockage when I'm on a blank page with minimal steering. Having boilerplate that pulls on a literal near-infinite library of material is really good for pro forma stuff that is otherwise a pain to write.

Some of the "AI is going to blow up white-collar industry" hype seems way over its skis to me. Part of the scaffolding of the joke in Office Space with the TPS reports was that the TPS reports were not the crux of Peter's actual job. It was just some pro forma thing he had to bang out as part of a software development job (which didn't end up being that difficult or challenging, but that's beside the point here). But the hype-ists go to "white-collar work is nonsense and GPT is super good at nonsense, therefore GPT will replace white-collar work." This seems off-base to me. My theory is that nonsense work will finally become devalued and put in its place based on time/effort arbitrage enabled by language models. Then each specific job has to reckon with the removal of this work: will the job still be justified? Case-by-case.

This paradigm jibes much better with the experience of things like email and online calendaring and word processing. Secretarial jobs became "assistant" jobs, not just for PC reasons, but because the nature of that work upgraded and shifted to account for the removal of nonsense and repetition from the job description.

I think GPT stuff is going to deliver some death blows. One I keep thinking about is thank-you notes. What is a thank-you note? A thank-you note is a proof-of-work (hello, crypto!) performative activity that affirms gratefulness by showing effort on the part of the gift recipient. Very little original has been said in a thank-you note, and - if truly original - the content would likely have benefitted from not being constrained to that format.

I fed in this prompt to ChatGPT: "write a thank you note from the recipient of a plush hippopotamus toy to their generous aunt who gave it to them for their birthday". Here's what I got:

Dear Aunt [Aunt's Name],

I hope this note finds you in good health and high spirits. I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for the incredible birthday gift you gave me. Your thoughtfulness and generosity have truly touched my heart, and I cannot thank you enough for the adorable plush hippopotamus.

From the moment I laid eyes on this cuddly creature, I knew it was something special. Its soft fur and gentle expression bring instant joy to my heart. I have named it "Hippy," and it has quickly become my constant companion, accompanying me on all my adventures and providing endless comfort.

Every time I look at Hippy, I am reminded of your love and care. You always know how to find the perfect gift that reflects my interests and brings a smile to my face. The attention to detail in choosing this hippopotamus toy is remarkable, and it perfectly captures my love for these magnificent animals.

I have already spent countless hours playing with Hippy, and I can already tell that it will be cherished for years to come. It has found a special place in my room, and I take great delight in snuggling up with it at bedtime. Your gift has brought so much warmth and happiness into my life, and I am truly grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Your love and support have always been a source of strength and inspiration for me. Whether it is birthdays, holidays, or just ordinary days, you have a remarkable ability to make me feel incredibly loved and cherished. I am truly blessed to have you as my aunt.

Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful gift. Your presence in my life is a gift in itself, and I am eternally grateful for your love and generosity. I look forward to our next visit and creating more beautiful memories together.

With all my love and gratitude,

[Your Name]

That's almost too good! So I told it to tone it down a few notches: "please make the note shorter and simpler."

Dear Aunt [Aunt's Name],

I wanted to say a big thank you for the plush hippopotamus you gave me for my birthday. It's absolutely adorable! I named it "Hippy," and I love it so much. It's become my favorite companion, and I always feel happy when I see it.

Your thoughtful gift means a lot to me. I appreciate your love and generosity. Thank you for making my birthday extra special. I'm lucky to have you as my aunt.

Sending you lots of love and gratitude,

[Your Name]

Enough with the Hippy thing, so insincere: "please do not mention the name hippy or naming the hippopotamus."

Dear Aunt [Aunt's Name],

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the wonderful plush hippopotamus you gave me for my birthday. It truly made my day special, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

The hippopotamus is so cute and cuddly, and I can already tell it will become a cherished companion. I'm grateful for your generosity and for always knowing how to bring a smile to my face.

Thank you again for the lovely gift. I feel blessed to have you as my aunt.

With love and gratitude,

[Your Name]

Ultimately, these language models boil down to f(prompt, some randomness) = message. And prompt = f(minimal effort and thought). If I sent this to Aunt Petunia she would get that ChatGPT vibe for sure, and the only remaining benefit is me relaying that I appreciated the gift through my initiative in generating the text and conveying it to her.

You know what else would do that? Sending this text: "ACK toy". Petunia could have Venmo'ed me $10 with a memo "SYN birthday" and similarly conveyed her meaning, but buying the gift had context (hippos are cute, remember that trip to the zoo?) and the physicality of the act maintained sincerity of action (picking something out, having it shipped... even if it was 100% online).

Context, sincerity, and physicality are exactly the kinds of elements to interactions that startup dorks would totally overlook and undervalue. But it's what's left when we are able to strip out the nonsense! Ideally, this means these models and the tools that they will empower should allow us to focus more on what actually matters, the juicy core of communication, relationship, decision-making, etc., and get rid of the "PR Speak" because it's all just f(something) anyway.

7/15/2023 #

Sweet Summertime

Is there a song that establishes a mood any more effectively than does "Night Moves" by Bob Seger? It makes me miss the 60's, and I wasn't there for them. Every time it comes on I stop, look up, and pleasantly remember that there is a song called "Night Moves." I mean, it has background singers and it still works! I don't get it. Pure magic. A banger that I can probably only hear once a quarter or I'll ruin it.

I was doodling on the guitar with a quintessential 90's worship song, "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever," which I have been playing since the 90's. I have been singing it close enough to forever. There was a delightful sense of continuity in that, and also a hard sign that I need to continue to broaden my repertoire.

I've been enjoying trying to delve into the music of the present-day youths. It's hit-or-miss, as unfiltered current music always is. The biggest thing I feel is an unmooring from genre with the decline of radio. Something like "Circles" by Post Malone is almost uncomfortably nonconformant: a white rapper with face tattoos singing a heartbreak ballad over a bass line with generational significance. It works, but it feels like you have to start every listening session asking the band, "So, what's your deal?" And with outfits like Glass Animals and Twenty One Pilots, that is not a simple answer by any means.

7/15/2023 #

Zarro Boogs

Just realized all my posts previously had the same date on this new blog thing. It's been good, though. Aside from piss poor documentation I have no complaints about Eleventy.

7/15/2023 #

Blogging with VS Code

I was always afraid to take the static site generator route because of my previous inability to use SSH from work. This is not such an issue now that we're remote. Plus there's always a phone with an SSH client if all else fails.

Having gone into the office a couple of times last week it really hits home how different life is without the expectation of commuting on a regular basis. Quite a few inconveniences pop up that my at-home schedule has eliminated. There's still a place for office work, though. I don't... miss it miss it, but I definitely appreciate elements of what it can bring to the day and the overall working experience.

I've been wanting to establish a creative writing outlet, and I'm wondering if the blog may be a means to do that. Not sure if that all fits together, but it might! I want to get into the writing process on a regular basis. Not so much to write a novel or anything that ambitious, but to hone my voice and stoke creativity. Obviously various electronics projects are creative outlets as well, but there is something special about the written word.

It stuns me that this is my 1,605th blog post if I believe the file count in this folder. I'm not sure I do, and I'm even less sure that all of those posts remain intact after the transitions from Blogger to TextPattern to Efendi to Ghost and now to Eleventy, but hey, close enough, huh?

The import/conversion process was really something. YAML is one of those things that's a great idea until it isn't, but unlike many such things the great/isn't line is really close to very simple use cases. Like, how do you deal with colons? And then you quote, but then you have to escape the quotes. Kind of feels like a cartoon mallet whack-a-mole, especially with various inconsistencies in the source material.

It's becoming more and more clear as the years roll on that it's super important to own and control one's data. It's one thing to avoid Blogger or Facebook or Medium or whatever du jour service is out there, but having your data inside a braindead system, jammed into MySQL or something in some inscrutable format, is almost as bad. Who cares who owns the spinning disk if you can't read it anyway? I like seeing all these text files and watching the SSG ingest them one-by-one fresh each time. I could ninja-edit one of those ranty undergraduate Blogger posts and up it pops on the site. But it's still text files. Stuff I can zip and put on five different drives.

Speaking of different drives, this winter I worked up a backup regime that finally makes me feel I've properly covered my ass. Cloud-syncs, on-prem cold storage, hot storage, warm storage. All temperatures of storage. That weird dualistic feeling of "this is crazy and I am crazy and this is so overdone" and "how is the rest of the world sleeping at night without doing this?" Own and control!

Back to braindead systems, even doing things with Docker images where I couldn't really be bothered what's going on because I can clean-sweep it with a one-liner, I see an app that needs a companion MongoDB container and I nope right out. I don't trust Docker, either. It's like the whole Star Trek transporter thing. Like, if you were there and now you're here but with different matter, isn't the there-you dead? Like, you killed the there-you and replaced it with here-you? Every time I see a container nuke itself and recreate I'm thinking, "Well, that's that. Everything is gone." And then up it pops again intact.

Is the techno-skepticism we often observe setting in with older age actually just a lack of trust? Like, we've been wounded before and it just isn't worth the faith anymore? All of a sudden we're cooking over open fires and growing our own radishes. Paleo-self-hosting.

It's only magic if you don't trust it. Is that true? The magic is your trust in the non-magical thing, or the thing is magic because it functions in spite of your lack of trust.

The NixOS people seem to have really figured out the radish-growing. Demanding a system that can reconstitute itself from primordial protein pools upon boot may be a little more than I need for my own confidence. I mainly want to maintain the feeling that a server or PC could get nuked at noon and it would be up and running with no data loss by bedtime. It's a noble mission, though. Having a text file that describes your whole computing environment is charming. Text files!