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Well, it’s pro football time, and after having watched about one third of a quarter less than a quarter of the only pro football game I’ve seen yet this year, I have decided upon the team I will be cheering for for at least a week, and hopefully the whole season. Drum roll please: The Washington Redskins. These guys are playing awesome. However, my support of them comes with much introspection; what exactly is the criteria that I use in my deity-grade divination of the supportable team? I’ve compiled a short list of criteria:
The team…
Must have at least a half-probable bid for winning the Big One: You can support other teams, but you have to at least have one winner in your back pocket.
Must not have an asshole for a star player: Do you want to have to ignore that crap every week on the post-game interviews?
Must not have an asshole for a coach: Do you want to have to ignore that crap every week on the post-game interviews?
Must have a good, well-rounded quarterback: No, Michael Vick is not well-rounded. I’m talking the kind of quarterback for which a “Hail Mary” does not need a literal component for a chance at a completion. But a good QB-keeper playbook is a plus.
Must have a good running back: If I see somebody passing on 4th and 1 somebody’s going to get their ass kicked.
Should have at least one player whose name can be chanted by the crowd to sound like a “Boo”: “Moose” was the only reason I held onto supporting the Cowboys for so long. Now OU has “Rufus”, and the crowd has taken to howling when Wolf gets a carry. That’s just good football.
Better to be an NFC team: AFC just sucks.
I’m sure there are more, but that’s enough. This is a pretty dumb post, but at least it’s about football instead of Linux binary libraries or something.