Intelligent and Unintelligent Design
I pulled out two gnarly whiskers this morning, as I am paying the price for doing the electric shave in the car yesterday. They were those defective ones where multiple whiskers grow together in a triple helix-type pattern. You might somewhat harshly consider that to be a defective genetic feature of the face, but the fact that a snafu like that doesn’t just cause your face to permanently mar itself or something is another small little TMI miracle for the day.
We need a Christmas tree; the “wrapped gift bedroom floor space” and “unwrapped gift chair” are quickly filling up, and it’s the smallest chair in the living room. Christmas or not, the bigger chairs are for lounging.
The Best Buy commercials where the woman heckles Santa are only marginally better than the ones from years past where a slave-driving Santa makes the elves work holidays and weekends.
I saw my first “dad of the house was smart” commercials in a long time. The doofus guy from the “doublemyspeed.com” ad now has a second scenario where he takes the information previously gifted to him by his wife and has a nice father-daughter moment on the couch fixing her college PC. The daughter was either grateful for the help or silently disgusted that he had rooted out her hustle to get an Apple laptop as a replacement. Either way, he was victorious, saved money, looked like the big man of the house, and didn’t take guff from anybody.
… Unlike that poor sap who gets berated in his wife’s greenhouse for saving money on a phone plan. That one is awful. My devious side always wants him to just go nuts, smashing her windows, maybe getting the kids (who I’m sure are on his side due to the new unlimited mobile plan) to destroy all her plants. Salt the soil so nothing else will ever grow. That type of thing. Maybe the new trend is that commercial dads are reserved while the women are more, well, evil and aggressive.
AT&T was again rated the worst mobile provider. Knock on formica, but we haven’t had a lot of issues. You occasionally have to wave a dead chicken over Kristin’s iPhone to make an outbound call, and sans MicroCell we get one bar at the house when we’re not standing askew a brick wall, but otherwise quite good. Much fewer dropped calls, but that’s a city-to-city thing they’re working on.
I always enjoy those kind of “First World Problems” Amazon reviews, like where they say a box of Christmas cookies is “inedible.” We watch our fair share (yeah, Obama) of chef shows on TV, and it’s pretty funny to see some portly snob stare down a well-cooked slice of veal and say, “this is inedible.” These are probably people who think tap water is “undrinkable,” and we’ve seen people refuse to cook with canned beans.
Not related, but when boiling water I still think of the poor moron on Hell’s Kitchen who thought cold water boiled faster.