Sample Headlines
“If extrapolations continue at the current rate, panic will reach theoretical maximum by 2020.”
“Al Gore markets new ‘extrapolation offset’ financial products, which reduce an individual’s or organization’s extrapolation exponent by one power each. Underlying math unknown.”
“Boehner Commission uncovers Al Gore’s secret extrapo-dollar boondoggle: a gold idol of himself playing bongos riding on a flying tree, dubbed the log-o-rhythm.”
“MIT researchers confirm: pizza cheese gooeyness probably not the best independent variable on which to base important extrapolations.”
“90% of in-print school history textbooks currently blame cheese gooeyness for all problems since FDR.”
“Teachers unions picket against replacing textbooks or changing cheese curricula: ‘One decade should see twenty raises and one curriculum change.’”
“Pizza Hut CFO: ‘If thinning out our cheese will save the world, we’re fine with that.’”
“Burger King launches pizza business venture with flagship product ‘The Real Man’, boasting thicker cheese than ever seen in a street-legal food product.”